今場比賽所採用的歌曲是Heal the World，同學均評論得相當深入。
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Sunny說︰I
mean, besides the problems between countries,
I think there are lots of problems between people. |
上句有一個double mistake，首先Between的用法有些問題，其次是problems。
between只是指一件事物與另一事物之間，例如between
you two，但如果指世界上很多國家之間，則應該用among
countries。Problems一定發生於國家裏面，不能用於among
countries，除非是說diplomatic
problems among different countries or among
many countries。
如果這一句是指各國的內部問題，可說︰Besides the
problems in various countries；但如果指國與國之間的外交紛爭，應說成︰Besides
the diplomatic problems among States。Countries和States有些分別。Country是指地理上的，香港也是一個Country，但香港不是一個State，State是政治上的。
同樣，I think there are lots of
problems between people亦應說成among
different peoples，people在這裏要變成眾數peoples。
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Kelvin說︰the
first impression is that this song defense itself
against the risk of being analysis because
it's so long. Hum…well but it's quite ironic that
Michael Jackson who under …a plastic surgery to
change himself …to sing the song. But, it's a
very well sung song and the first part were children
come out and they laugh and they talk about the
new generations, they ask
us to think about the new generations which is
them themselves. |
第一句有點不知所云，而the
new generations which is them themselves則單數眾數不統一，應說成the
new generations which are them themselves.
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Celine說︰This
song invokes our trip to the in the Mongolia this
summer. Actually in the Mongolia, it's
the place famous for its beautiful grasslands
and so the girls we also went to do trip. And
actually we expected that we could lay on the
grass and enjoy ourselves.
And when we arrived, however, we could hardly
see grassland but desert. So, some people
who want to make, make some money and they chop
down all the trees and that they contributes to
the desertification
of the land. And they neglect people there, and
so that the nomadic herders
lose their livings. And they can't afford
their children to go to school. So we have to
plant some trees there and it's a tough task but
we just, we don't have to dedicate a lot of time
or effort but actually we can contribute to a
better world. So I think the writer wants to tell
us that everyone should do a little bit more to
preserve the world. |
This song invokes our trip to the
in the Mongolia this summer. Actually in the Mongolia…Mongolia之前不應該用the，相反，菲律賓及荷蘭則要用the︰the
Netherlands and the Philippines。如果想說，這一首歌令我們想起今年夏天到蒙古旅行，應該說成︰this
song reminds us of a trip to Mongolia last summer，不是this
summer，因為Last summer可以指今年的夏天，但絕對不是指去年的夏天，除非你是在春天說這句說話。
這些英文的細節不應忽略，現在的communicative teaching不知是否只求明白，不注重文法和細節，我對這種教法有點保留。
And actually we expected that we
could lay on the grass…假如說的是「希望躺在青草地上」，應該說︰we
expected that we could lie on the grass。這是中學生經常會弄錯的地方，lay是指一樣東西涉及另外一樣被動的東西，例如︰don't
lay your hand on the table，lie則指躺下︰I
lie down。
And when we arrived, however, we
could hardly see grassland but desert，這句表達得不錯。
So, some people who want to make some money and they
chop down all the trees and that they contributes to
the desertification of the
land句中，desertification（土地沙漠化）這個詞很學術，屬於地質學、社會科學中一個較為專門的名詞，較少用於日常口語。用I
saw land there becoming desert（我看到那裏的土地變成沙漠）會更加適合，也比較隨和，日常口語應避免使用太過學術的名詞。
the nomadic herders lose their
living的意思較為含糊，可更加精確地表達︰nomadic
herders lose their homes。Living指生計，是一個較深的詞，這裏可表達得精確一些。
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Cassy說︰I love this
song very much. What a coincidence that this song
is the title of our class Christmas board that
we made last Friday. Yes, in the board there's
children with different races are hand
in hand when paying for justice and peace. |
there's children with different
races應改為︰there are children
of different races。當說小童生來有三隻眼︰children
with three eyes，這情況要用with，但若說生而為某一種族，則要用︰children
of different races。
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Sunny說︰Afghanistan and Bin Laden
cause a very sensational.
And I think the US Government is just like a strong
country and bullying the weak country, I mean
Afghanistan. You know just like taking
revenge on the weaker countries and it's
obviously is not a
very good thing to do. |
Sensational甚麼呢？sensational是一個形容詞，可改為︰cause
a bit of sensation（引起一些哄動）/they
made a sensational episode/they made a sensational
page of history。
You know just like taking revenge
on the weaker countries and it's obviously
is not a very good thing
to do一句，is重覆了；taking
revenge on the weaker countries中，weaker
countries用作指弱些的國家，是 "Chinglish"的說法，英語中「強國」是super
power、powerful state或strong
state，也不會說成strong country。這句話改為︰taking
revenge on third world countries/third world states/non-superpowers較佳。
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Kelvin說︰It's
opening a new wound because he has brought about
the crash of civilizations. He
didn't want to do this but I think that Bin Laden
has deliberately wanted George Bush to declare
war to unite all the Muslims to help him. |
It's opening a new
wound because he has brought about the crash of civilizations，這句說得很好。
He didn't want to do this but
I think that Bin Laden has deliberately wanted George
Bush to declare war to unite all the Muslims to help
him. 這一句有些歧義，是指「布殊宣戰的目的是要團結所有的回教徒？」還是「拉登想布殊宣戰，這樣便正中下懷，拉登可以因而聯合所有的回教徒呢？」我相信Kelvin的意思是後者，但這裏出現了ambiguity（模稜兩可）的情況，中文也常有這種情況出現。
這句話可改為︰Bin Laden
deliberately wanted George Bush to declare war on
the Muslims, so that he can unite his Islamic brothers
to fight. 這樣便可消除句子中的曖昧性。
今集討論到此為止，其他的文法失誤也和以前所說的大同小異，緊記注意模稜兩可及單、眾數的問題。
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